Is there a person in this world who have or had a perfect life?
I even talked to the most cheerful people i know, and no..there isn't one.. They are always happy.. Smiling always.. But the truth is, everyone has their downs.
No one is perfect.. Stop worrying about not knowing what you want to do with your life. There are lots of people who don't have a clue either.
Sigh.. Everything comes with a reason doesn't it? Like the time when you were punished for doing something foolish.. You wouldn't want to do it again. Right? So what if no one catches you?.. You will be doing the same old bad habit over and over again..
That will be bad..
God has to lead us.. He knows the way.. And you must follow.. Because it is the right thing to do.
I know, sometimes doing the right thing is very difficult.. VERY.
He has plans for us. And you must have faith in him.. The obstacles you are facing right now is part of the adventure. This make life interesting..
But in the end, when you can stand strong, when nothing can tear
you apart, when you have that strong faith and trust... I know one day, every problem you're facing right now will feel so insignificant.
So do not be afraid of your little adventure.. If it's meant to be, it really will be.
I cant wait for this brand new year.. A new year! A new level!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Cherish every moment. Because there's such thing as a perfect moment.
And thank you. If it's meant to be, it really will be.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAH (!)Partttaayyy at my place.. I will update next time(:
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!I'm feeling the spirit now.. wee~ it sure is the
GREATEST TIME OF THE YEAR.i wont elaborate so maybe next time..Christmas eve was great! Did last-minute shopping, attended the Midnight Christmas Mass.. The unwrapping of presents...
ahh.. and finally! i was able to use my nikon D3OOs so took loads and loads of pictures. haha.
After that had
Noche Buena. (!)
And today, a christmas partaayyy at Jaymee's place.
Some people may take it for granted. They get excited. They get excited with the parties, excited with the presents..
Today's celebration is for the birth of Jesus Christ.
Happy Birthday, Jesus
THE JOY OF GIVING.Had fun
christmas shopping the other day with mom..and the day after with Carrie
Teo(:
And there's still loads of shopping to do.
yay~
I don't know why, but i was cleaning my room at 2 last night-
OMG right? Didn't feel like sleeping, and for once i wanted to tidy the place up-time to throw all those useless and unwanted stuff which i wouldn't want to.
And somehow, i felt like i needed You... sigh...it has been 4543657423 years.
Oh and I'm not ready for school. STOP
PROCRASTINATING (!)
Woke up bright and early for the rehearsal.. Darn it, i need my sleep..
Yesterday was packed! I was invited to this Christmas thing but ended up not going(sorry guys) coz there was a household Christmas party at tito romel's house. I had to help out in the cooking.. Learned how to bake some Filipino dishes( i forgot the names. And even if i did, i wouldn't know how to spell it) and maybe next time tita icel might teach me how to bake Oreo Cheesecake. yummm...
The exchanging of gift was the best coz it was really unique. We didn't just pass it around like most of us will do.. It was like strategy game. If you're clever enough, you might get the gift you want. haha
Anyway, my family and i had to leave early coz my parents had to do some stuff at Holy Trinity. Yeah, yesterday's Simbang Gabi was held there..
We went home first, took Max outside for a walk, and then deah and i, together with ate glee, rushed to Divine Mercy for the Youth Mass.
ah, the praise and worship was led by the YFC. We enjoyed it, but i bet the people who were clueless to what's that all about didn't really care..
Ohwell.. Oh and the healing was really something. Words cant express how i was feeling that night.
After everything finished, kylein, jaymee, deah and i went to Holy Trinity. Haha, we wanted the
super-good-porridge(aruscaldo) so badly. And besides, we haven't eaten our dinner(at 11pm?!).
And that is why i really need my sleep.. By the time i reached home, it was already quarter to 1.
But a lot of stuff is going in my head right now.. Maybe studying might help..
Yesterday was.. N.ICE.
Band practice in the morning till 11am. It was pretty relaxing
coz we played all those old, but really nice pieces.. Like, 'One moment in time' , 'Without you', ' That thing u do', Lady
Marmalade'
ect. I like it that way. practice practice
Met girlfriends around 1pm to study.
Eerr,to do homework, i mean.. OK, we also did a lot of talking..
IMISSTHOSEGIRLSRushed home( i was all wet. Typical me, no umbrella.)
coz Max was coming!! The cutest thing.
Alexis told me everything what i need to do, send her off, and then
Simbang Gabi at st. Anne.
First day of
Simbang Gabi was pretty organised.. Even though there's 2 churches this time, it was still super full. The
Filipino population is growing fast. Very fast.
GreatTohaveWonderfulFriends.
Today it's time to study :D
A typical
monday.. Except that i felt so shitty.. I felt so pathetic.
I couldn't play that well today, my mind was somewhere else. The clarinet doesn't sound so good and i know it's my fault. Of course it is.
sigh.
The piece i enjoyed playing today was 'Without You by
Mariah Carey'.. It was.. nice.. But it made me so.. sad.
Anyway, thank you for the text message. It certainly brightened me up
coz i didn't expect it from you. :D
Talking about text message, Alexis
texted me and..
OMG. I get to take care of Max(a Maltese) for 2 whole weeks!
She'll be bringing him tomorrow.
yay.
Cant wait.
Today was..fun.
This time it was the 70s style!
Went over to Pat F.'s house first.. Then to the community centre, and then Kayla's house.
It was really fun but nothing will change what I'm really feeling inside.
It hurts a lot. Really, it does..
Anyway, our performance screwed up! We had to repeat the dance 3times..technical problem.
haha. i really enjoyed myself..
Had some crying moments, but they really cheered me up :D
Well, until i saw the comment.. I know he don't mean it(i think) because there was a 'haha'... But i got really hurt, again, and... i don't know... It made me angrier and more upset.. It made me pessimistic..again.
I can see how fragile i am now.. I don't know when it'll end. Maybe in 2 weeks time. I really hope so..
I was miserable, and still am.
Have you ever wanted to rewhine the time and go to your past and change whatever mishaps, misunderstandings or stuff you regret doing?
I certainly do. I know many people would want that.
Some people can forgive and forget, some cant. This always lead to anger, revenge and you end up hurting yourself again.
Well,i am not the kind who does that but i know i am the kind who does not forget these things easily. What more forgive? I DO forgive but have you ever thought the person may think it is all your fault? That actually, it isn't ALL your fault? That he/she thinks you were the bad one? That he/she knows you were a weakling? And that he/she never knew your side of the story?
You never said anything else, but sorry. You could have explain a little more further. What actually happened. Make them understand. Let them know that it is not entirely your fault.
But you said, I'm Sorry. You said an unclear explanation.... And the person said, I'm Sorry Too. Not because he/she was in the wrong, but because he/she feels sorry for you or it feels right to apologize too.
You get what I'm saying? Maybe not. (just bare with me a little while more)
I just wish i wasn't that foolish and naive to believe everything what my friend said.
How i wish i wasn't that weak to stand up for my own rights.
But then again, this is life. No matter how difficult it may seem, just remember, you are who you are. This is how you can become a better person. This is how you can learn from your mistakes.
Someone told me this... I'm not sure of the exact words but it's something like this:
God has to hurt your little heart in order to learn and become better.So yeah, you have to get hurt, in order to learn...
Wow..i feel so much better now.. Sorry, i need to say it all out coz I've been thinking about the past. I saw her just now, and i recalled the bad memories.
But we're good now...
Dear God, Please help me to forgive and forget. Please help remove all my personal junk.I want to make the path straight for you; fill up all valleys and make the mountains and hills short. Make me more like you.Amen
I feel really guilty, once again..
It has been rough, that's for sure. But what can we do? Are we gonna give up now?
Well, i know some people had given up long time ago.
But are you sure you really want that? Are you a sore loser?
The scoldings we always get... Yeah. I know it's not worth it anymore...
The emptiness in that room.. I don't hear the beautiful music anymore. I don't hear the praises anymore.. I don't feel the satisfaction anymore.
The question is, am i ready to give it all up?
Maybe that will make my life easier. No more worries about the attendance..
No more worries about feeling tired after every practice..
Even he was giving up on us.
The man who doesn't give up easily, IS GIVING UP ON US.
Anyway, lets think happy thoughts now..
YFC Christmas Party 2009 on saturday(5/12) was fabulous. Everyone was
oh-so-gorgeous.
Ate awesome food, played this dance game( the one you cannot move when the music stops), took loads of pictures, had this Grammy award thing and we danced all night. OK, well, till 10pm..
And the following sunday morning(6/12), mariam and i had to go for the dance rehearsal. I was reluctant to go coz i was sooo tired, but i was just thinking of her.. She'll be all alone if i don't go! haha.
And that took my whole morning, but it was kinda fun.
Rested at home, and then went for the 6pm mass. That was the last mass for Father Johnson.
He'll be moving to divine mercy, which is at pasir ris.
I practically grew up in holy trinity so i guess i would want to go to both churches..
Sigh, we'll see what happens tomorrow..
Thanks for the chocolates, Kishen and Faizul!
I wanna hear music again. PLEASE.
