I just realised, my posts has so much negativity.. This sucks. It's been going on since before the New Year, if you realised. If I'm not wrong, it was before December 28 when everything started.. When everything is not on my side.. When i start forgetting how to feel happy..
Yeah, i felt very pathetic.
And this week isn't getting any better. THE WORST WEEK YET.
Well, you know.. School.. The Olevels.. Dont wanna talk about what happened... Whatever.
Bruised, battered, but still standing.
Oh and the fact that i made a decision which i might regret.. It kills me. I don't know why I'm getting this feeling that this is it.. It's fading away.. But i really hope not.. I don't like this scary feeling, i really don't wanna loose you.
OK. This wasn't the reason why i blogged.
I know, there are many other stuff in life than to all these problems. I'm very grateful that Andrea and Joana opened up to me. (My Filipino classmates. I love you guys.) Looking at their problems made me realise that this is just how it goes.. Everything will come to a happy ending, if you try.
I believe in happy endings. And you guys should to.
Look at all those people who gave up.. Doing horrible stuff to themselves because they cant handle their problems. That's stupidity. They gave up, just like that.
What a waste huh? It's just not worth it. What if everything will come to an end soon?
Haha. You see? I feel better again. Thank You Jannine. I thank God for letting me know how to stand up again.
Goodbye, I'm gonna start studying. There's chingay rehearsal later! Lets dance! Hehe.
Oh oh! And i cant wait to go shopping! I miss it. (:
What better way to end with a smile? Smile (:
Surprisingly, I've got the mood to blog. Haha. But really... What is there to update? It's pretty much all about school.. NO WAIT, It's ALL about school. (OK. i'm exaggerating a little bit..)
HAHA.
It's occupying my mind, that's for sure, and that is a good thing. It feels as if i had no problems at all. Well, except stress from school..and the waking up early to finish up homework-not the point.
The point is, it feels great when you don't have to worry about stuff. Complicating stuff which you wouldn't understand. I'm pretty muddled myself.
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle.. Life is maze. And Love is a riddle. I don't know where to go. I cant do it alone, I've tried. And i don't know why.. Slow it down. Make it stop. Or else my heart is going to pop. Cuz it's too much. Yeah, it's a lot. To be something I'm not. I'm a fool. Out of love. Cuz i just cant get enough...
Till next weekend? Goodnight.
School's hectic! Even on the first day.. Like there's nothing else i can do beside school, homework, band practice and extra lessons. By the time i reach home, it's ME and HOMEWORK till i fall asleep. And about the extra lessons, structure remedial starts on Monday!
Aww, man. School till 4.15 or 5 or 6 everyday? No. Wait. Wednesdays to fridays only. Mondays and Tuesdays will be even later. Haha, seriously, Im not complaining here.. Just worried..
Yeah. You know what comes after that.... I will be on hiatus from blogging..(like AS IF I'm updating regularly.)
I always look forward to Fridays, ever since the beginning of last year.. But now, every minute count. No time to watch tevee. No time to use the computer. No more wasting precious time. Tomorrow's a busy day( like any other day)..
There's the CCA Orientation in the morning, Jaden's birthday party in the afternoon, Chingay practice and bbq in the evening.. Ohmygee right? Considering that im taking my Os this year..
So to make long story short, I wont be blogging.. for now.
Bye. Smile people(:
What better way to spend January 8 with awesome friends! Spent time with my dear friend at
Ehub and then went to scape LAB for THE
GIGS's concert.
Haha. Not bad Joshua :D thumbs up! We left early around 8.30pm(?) to do some window shopping and dinner. It seemed like years since i last saw him.
Anyway,
On January 9, my family and i went for this big event at Divine Mercy. The official opening for the church. There were 31 priests and archbishop, Nicholas Chia. And many many people..
An Amazing event.
After that, went for the not-so-surprise birthday party. Thank you, miles, for organizing.
It was great, i guess.
I had the same cake i had for my previous birthday party. So coincidental. HAHA.
And the portrait of me, really, it was nice. Thank You Brian.
Thank God we caught the last bus and train.
Haha. i didn't expect so many wonderful people to wish me on my birthday.. Even the friends who i wouldn't thought they would, wished me.
It took me like, 2 hours to give comments to the people who did via facebook. It seriously took me that long. THANK YOU.
And the people who wished me via text message... wow.. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I received 100 over greetings.That's pretty a lot.
And to the people who called.. THANK YOU. I received a number of calls. HAHA, and there was a so-called prank when i was on the way to the party. Thank You for calling. Haha.
THANK YOU to the people who gave me gifts. Love it! THANK YOU to the people who wished me personally. And of course, THANK YOU GOD.
I wish i can type down all your names here and say something to each and everyone of you, but there's too many..
Sigh, but what i really want is to feel happy again. I don't know why, but i don't feel happy deep down.
I even forgot how it feels like to be happy. Seriously. It's like, there's something bugging me...
Sigh..
Updated on January 10
HAPPY NEW YEAR, beautiful World! It's January 1 2010.. Gawd. I don't feel the new year.. Well not exactly.. It feels the same. The same old problem is still hanging around my neck.. I cant exactly tell you how I'm feeling right now.. And it's not really a good thing.
But whatever.
New year. New opportunities. New adventure. No matter how hard this will be for me, I will continue to stand.
Haha. You know what?! It feels as if I'm counselling myself whenever i type encouraging words here. I always make myself feel better. Weird huh? Like there's two of me...
So you know what that means right? More '
emo' talk?
haha.
I got my cell phone back but i don't have the courage to use it. Long story..(i don't feel like telling here anyway) And i don't want to do anything bad again.. Really. It hurts a lot.
ANYWAY...
I wanna thank all my wonderful friends who were always there for me. Without them, i don't think i can manage myself. And thank You, You've been very understanding. Seriously, it's been rough.
And 2010.. Please be a good one. I need all the strength.
Got your resolutions yet? Coz im gonna follow mine.. Well i hope so.
