These are the lowest grades i ever had, and it will be lowest grades
I'll ever get.
Damn.. I am beyond disappointed.
I
don't know, i
don't have the motivation to work harder. I feel like there's no hope anymore.
I seriously feel like giving up...
(great)Sorry, i cant maintain a 14. Ready to pack? ):I wish i could bubble wrap my heart in case i fall and break apart.
''Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just
gotta find the ones worth suffering for. ''- Bob Marley
Isn't that true?? Haha, Ok, anyway... I had an awesome time last night! It was Kyle's debut (my first time attending one). It might not be as grand as a debut should be, but I'm sure everyone had lots of fun. The thing was, Kyle thought it was only going to be a simply party at her house. But actually, we surprised her with 18 roses and 18 candles. Alexis and I also dressed her up. Haha. It was funny coz she wasn't the type who wear dresses and make up.
We lined up performances for her all night, and i tell you, they were amazing.
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY KYLE
(Jaymee! I actually wanted to attend KC's party too.. I'm sorry Kaezia. )
And today, I just had catechism class in the morning and mass will be later in the evening. And personally, i think it was one of the best lesson. Kevin and Gloria ( our catechist) wasn't there so I guess the lady in front talking was the substitute teacher. Haha. She was really good at talking.. Her stories were interesting and easy to understand.. And we had a paraliturgy. So yeah, the class wasn't as noisy as before.. Seriously, it can get pretty annoying when everyone starts to talk at the same time. Plus, they were talking so loudly about some irrelevant and stupid stuffs. I was close to shouting. Seriously boys.. You guys are 15 already..
Here's a summary on what i learned today:
Prayer is a gift from God. Pray with your heart and soul and don't get distracted when doing so.
Do not expect to get big miracles from Him but look out for the small ones.. All the coincidentals and luckiness are the work from God. And if you pray for something and it didn't come true, maybe it is something you don't really need or maybe you should be a little more patient. Remember, He loves us no matter how sinful we are. He do the right things at the right time.
So have more faith, OK? (:
A great week!
I had my last Mid year paper on Monday. Yay. The usual people and i ate breakfast at KFC after the NE quiz and then we went back to school to play basketball, soccer, netball.. It was soo fun! Especially basketball coz I've got 2 professionals to teach me. Hehe. But i kinda regret when i realized i became darker and when my body starts to ache.
A really bad idea if you're going Sentosa the next morning. Haha.
Yeah.. Gillian, Cheryl, Hidayuh, Fathin, Shimin, Zhao, Marcus, Nash, Hervy, Yisheng, Andrew, Ziqin and I went to Palawan Beach, Sentosa on Tuesday. And i must say, it was one of the best outing ever! Ah-mazing!
We were suppose to meet at Simei at 9am to buy stuffs, but we girls took so long to get ready.. HAHA. The guys still had time to eat breakfast at LJS.
By the time we bought all the necessary stuffs and after eating lunch at Vivo, it was already around 1pm, i think.. We played some beach games and a nice game of Captain's Ball-the best match yet! We also played around with the water and took lots of lots of pictures.
Oh and did i mention the beach was really nice? Maybe not as nice as other countries', but it's way better than the rest of the beaches here. And it was so peaceful too. ( No one else besides us)
Ok, so while the guys played more games and went swimming, we went to explore another island. It was just opposite actually.. We took this scary bridge and there, we took more pictures and made a fool out of ourselves by doing some weird stuffs while Andrew took videos of us.
It was sooo funnay! HAHAHA. And i never thought Gillian would post all of it in Facebook. Gosh. Hahaha.
Anyway, when it started to rain around 5pm plus, we headed to the toilet to bathe. We took so long. And the guys had to wait for like, 30 minutes, AGAIN. (sorry) We went to Harbour Front for dinner. Loads of laughter there. Haha. But the laughter wasn't over yet.. When we were heading to the MRT, Hidayuh started videoing me. I was acting bimbo and all.. And from then on, we started interviewing everyone. What a joke. We made so much noise in the train.. Really, it was damn hilarious! HAHAHA. It seemed like few minutes when i reached Pasir Ris..
That was a wonderful day.
On Wednesday, we got back our results. It was really depressing.. Not the kind of grades I'm hoping to get for Olevels. Seriously, it was damn pathetic. Erm, well, i cant remember what i did on this day.. Lunch at Niwa Sushi with Gillian, Zhao and Yisheng and then it was home-sweet-home.
I got back the rest of the results on Thursday. Even though i only failed chemistry (not surprise), i bet my parents will ground me for God-knows-how-long.. Aaahh.. It is really, really depressing. I'm not even sure if i wanna show my papers to them..
All my grades are so shitty. Especially Math. God damn it!! Lots of CARELESS MISTAKES. OMG. I was really surprise at my carelessness. Missed a minus sign there, missed a plus sign here, counted wrongly, missed a '2' somewhere... Aargh... And my science?! OMG.
ANYWAY, after school, went for Girl Guides' POP.. And then went home.
Friday (today), Hidayuh, Fathin, and i watched 2 movies in one day! Haha, i never did that before. First it was The Last Song and then it was the IP Man 2. Gillian came and watched the last movie with us. It was really, really good. I enjoyed myself (:
This week was such a drag.. My
Tuesday felt like Thursday and my Wednesday felt like Friday.. Mugging every single night and went out everyday for study dates. Seriously. Yeah, it's exam week.. The most unprepared one ever.
aaaahhhhAnd to make the matter worst, i wasn't feeling well..no, i AM NOT feeling well-flu and sore throat. Everyone in the hall was
quietly doing their paper while i was there, sneezing and coughing so loudly.
Aahh, so
embarrassing. I
should have seen the doctor and take an MC so that i wouldn't take the bloody papers..
Jannine, why-oh-why?
Sigh, at least it's not the
Olevels. If this was the case, i can kiss Singapore goodbye.
So this is a wake up call for me huh..
Anyway, today was really weird. After the
Amath paper2, Jessica, Mariam, Cheryl,
Hidayuh, Gillian and i went to
KFC for lunch. We finished eating when suddenly a man, around his 50s came in and ate the leftovers on the tables. His hands were shaking so much, and he tried to stuff everything in his mouth.
Hidayuh was still eating her cheese fries so she gave it to him.. It was
sooo pitiful coz the manager asked him to stop eating.. She even called the security guards. 2 security guards came and took him out of
KFC. He took like, few minutes to gobble up everything.. Gawd.
After all of them left, this teenage boy came in few minutes later and took leftover chili sauce on the tables. He was seriously looking at all the empty tables for chili sauce.. That was... really weird.
He went in the toilet and God-knows-what he was doing there. We were like, is he going to eat all those chili sauce??
It's such a pity. I didn't know there are such people in Singapore...
Aaahh, enough talk.. I still got chemistry paper1 on Monday. The last paper, for now..
[text message from mom from the Philipines] R u at home alrdy? Lance follow ur ates, ok? Good boy right? Ates pls teach him. People here say i look young and pretty like an actress n look very rich. Haha they dont know how much my utang, hehe. Thanks guys for being good children.. except when u argue. Hhehe. Anyways be safe and take care. Luv yah!
Haha, yeah.. My parents went back to the Philippines for 9 whole days.. Man, I should be enjoying right now. Unfortunetly, it's during the exam week..
4th May, TuesdayFirst day of taking in charge and the first day of exams-English paper. Nothing much to say about the papers.. Like what Madam Adibah said, it was deceptively easy. Gawd..
Dinner's 6.30pm everyday at White Sands. And then my siblings and i went to the library to study..
5th May, WednesdayChinese papers. Eeer, i have nothing to say about it.. I kept repeating the same sentences on my composition and i kinda did a guessing game for paper 2. We had dinner at Burger King and studied there till 11. No more going to the library after dinner coz it was surprisingly noisy.. Children singing nursery rhymes, mothers teaching their 4-year-olds how to read..etc.
6th May, ThurdayI had normal lessons. Ate lunch at KFC with the usual people (Cheryl, Jess, mariam, gillian, hidayuh, fathin, apple, aizat, zhao, hariz, hervy, qi zin, yisheng, andrew... did i missed out anyone? ) And then hidayuh and i went to tampines library to study.. OK, maybe not.. I was trying to do Amath papers while Hidayuh was busy solving the Sudoku.. Haha.
We went home for a while and we met up again at Tampines Mall, Macs, to study. We studied till like, 11pm? And then we webcammed with Gillian. Hahaha, it was so funnay! We walked to the MRT station while Gillian was still webcam-ing with us. Haha.
7th May, FirdayPractical Exam. I screwed up.. Seriously.. What a waste..
Anyway, after all of that, gillian, hidayuh, hervy, yisheng, marcus, zhao, andrew, aizat, nash and i went to the airport for lunch-Brooks cafe. Yumm! We had a great time there, laughed a lot..
Got back home to bathe and change out from my uniform, brought my study materials and went back to the airport to study. Met up with jess, mariam and the other E2s to study.. Had Burger King for dinner and then went with gillian, hidayuh and fathin to study. Apparently, Burger king was way to noisy and crowded.. So we headed to Starbucks.
Got a text message from an unknown number.. I read the numbers carefully.. And oh man.. It couldn't be....
I tried not think about it and continued to study till 2 men came to sit next to us. ( Gillian and Fathin left already. So it was me and hidayuh) One of them was a publisher and another was an English man. Haha, i don't know why, but they started talking to us about random stuffs.. It was funny. Luckily we manage to catch the last train.. Haha.
By the time i reached White Sands, it was already 12am and Deah and Sheryl was still studying at Macs. So decided to go there study for a while more. But nothing could get into my head.. Ended up sleeping at 1am and then woke up at 2am to head back home.
So exhausted..
The feeling of being hopeless..
The nightmare that wasn't going to change.
You put on quite a show.. You really got me going.
But now it's time to go.
And now, all i ask, is for you to get off my mind.
Count the nights, hypnotizing mists
Sad sights come
then, Painful flights
and heartbreaking goodbyes
Fantasies, a form of sanity
then, realization and sighs
No need for clarity
Tender and
stinging pain
Clutches an aching soul.
Loneliness, the creation of woe
Pouring rain
left out in the cold
Explanations
portray desperation
and a broken love song
Again the past smothers every reason
of much needed release
Hopes like the carrying wind
kissing the fresh wounds
I still love you
why have you forgotten?
now
I'm tortured
please get off my mind.
